Training Part II

this has nothing to do with training

 It's that time of the year where we need to plump up the staff and hire more people. You know what that means: it's time to train!!! Yuck.
 If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you will know that training is a minor pain in the ass. But, it's a neccessary evil, and the only people that can do it are the people that already work there. *sigh*. Don't get the wrong idea, servers aren't bad people, they just don't like to train.
 If you're training someone, you have someone following you. I am not a fan of having someone follow me. Sometimes they stand too close, sometimes they stand too far and try to look aloof because they're too cool to be trained, sometimes they get cheeky and touch my tables. NO! Don't ever touch my tables unless I ask you to. Ever! Sometimes they get cocky and try to outsmart you with their menu knowledge by asking an extremely obscure question. Nice try jack-a-lope; I've been here since day one. But, of course, this person has worked at Some Other Fine Establishment and is an expert on all things restaurant. Sometimes they are experts on alot of things that aren't even restaurant related. Good for you, but I'm not here to be impressed by your smarts. One guy was confused that our chef from Italy was speaking Spanish. I told him that Chef speaks a few languages. This guy told me that Italian and Spanish are similar. Really??!! I didn't know that!! Je parle le francais et vous etes un idiot. Je sais vous etes un buffoon. Pgghhfft! We had a bunch of these people when we first opened; we know how to smoke your type out.
 Sometimes trainees will complain about the way certain things are done. Go to Hell. This is not your old place of business, you are here now with us and you will do things our way. Besides, if your old job was so wonderful, why aren't you there now? Hmmmm? Open your own restaurant.
 Our menu is pretty easy to navigate, and it's really not too terribly terrifying to a new server. We're lucky, everything is pretty much written out right on the menu, there isn't anything really sneaky about anything. Having said this, we have had a few trainees who made no effort at all to try to learn anything about the menu. Where did these people come from? How have you worked in all these other places and don't feel the need to learn the menu? You are basically selling food, a server not knowing the menu is like a car-salesman not knowing that the round things on a car are tires. I mean, come on.
 Sidenote: we have a brand new guy who does nothing but ask questions. NOTHING. Good for him for being inquisitive and caring, but it is a little annoying. Two seconds of being around this guy and it's, "um, ok, question, ok?" Ok. I didn't know that there could be so many questions.
 It doesn't matter how many written tests you give someone, how many mock presentations they do, you never really know how well a server is going to do until they are waiting on real people. When we first opened, quite a few of our "seasoned" servers bit the dust. Hard. You need to see a server in action. It's one thing to wait on one table at a time; completely another to have a full section and you're weeded out of your gourd. A real seasoned server will know how to handle it; getting completely weeded is part of the job. Being a little slow on your first day out of training is somewhat ok, falling on your face and completely screwing up everything is not. I've seen it happen and it isn't pretty. You hate to see it, but it happens. After 5-6 days of training you should have at least half an idea of what you're doing.
 The crabhouse has a completely different approach to training. You might follow someone for a day, and then you're on the floor on your next shift. Which is usually a Saturday. Which is busy as hell and you want to die. Which you will either go back for more punishment or you will run away screaming, never to return. Sink or swim. Whatever, it works. It's brutal, but after 5-6 days of that place you can handle just about anything. By the way, anyone looking for a job? We need servers....muahahahaha!
  : D