The Brawlhaus

 So yesterday wasn't that busy, but at least we had a fight. The first one of the season! This makes me want to regale you with tales of some of the lovelies that frequent our crabby establishment.
 When you mix drinkin' and rednecks you get fights. We can count on a couple small ones on any given weekend, and at least one big one once a month. It's fun. They usually start out in the sand and always end up in the parking lot. We get the best view when they move to the parking lot, we'll line the rail on the deck, smoking and watching. If you sit on the back of the booths, you can get a really good view. Who knows what they fight about, somebody said something stupid, somebody was all over someone else's girl, long-standing feud from high school, there are a myriad of reasons.
  My favorite was the family brawl that went on for a couple of hours. Some guy got drunk and said something stupid. Maybe he threw a punch, either way he started it. So security kicks him out, which pissed off his sister, uncle, some sort of family members. Apparently there was at least one sane relative who was trying to get this guy out, and when he did get him out, the guy started fighting him. The guy was stumbling drunk, yelling at security, his sane relative, throwing punches and landing on his face, falling over cars, you get the picture. This was not a small guy. Security was worried about their bikes, ( motorcycles ), we were worried about our cars. This family was stumbling around the parking lot, trying to fight each other, ( dad had gotten involved at this point ), somebody threw rocks at a truck, it was a mess. At this point the waitresses were done, but we couldn't leave because of these wack-jobs rolling around our not so big parking lot. One of the security guys suggested calling the cops, our manager said no, she didn't want people to drive by and think we were some trash-hole problem spot because of a couple of cop cars. People would never get that impression if they drove by and saw a large, drunken group brawling in the parking lot. NEVER. Finally, after a couple of hours, somebody broke down and called the cops. About six Charles County and at least one Statey showed up. Mom showed up and took Junior home, and everyone else got home safely. Can you imagine Thanksgiving at that house?
  Last summer some guy got kicked out and punched out a window in the Keller bus that was parked down the road. One of our Charles County guys was in our parking lot, ( which I should tell you, is tiny ), he turned out, and took off down the road. Of course we were lining the rail, yelling "GET HIM DUCK!!!". They got him. Duck is our hero.
 One of our co-worker's sister in-law was passed out face first in the sand. When security tried to get her out she started swinging. They gave up, and her brother-in-law and one of my friends each grabbed an end and tried to carry her out, she's squirming and yelling and fighting the entire way. She got an arm loose and punched my friend in the back; they finally got to the car and threw her in the back. There was alot of swearing involved. Apparently, her sister was soooo done with her drunk ass she punched her in the face on the way home.
  Some big scary woman went after another waitress when her man grabbed the waitress' ass. The waitress was saved by a bartender who literally flew over the bar.
  We had a cat fight at the "nice" restaurant. There was normal conversation and all of a sudden "BITCH!" and two chicks come rolling out of their little area. When I say rolling, I mean it, these two were trying to mop the floor with each other. There was wine everywhere, and the one manager had a leetle bit of a time trying to pull them apart. I was confused for a moment; I thought I was at the other place.
  These are the biggies that I remember right off the bat. The little spits and spats are too, too numerous to mention. But don't be down, the summer is just starting. I'm sure I will have PLENTY more to talk about : )